THE CITIZEN INDEX

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

outfit post: Spin it, Spinster

When I'm in the street, the only people I notice, are usually at least 70 years old, because they look really stylish. -Vivienne Westwood

When I was in my 20's I tried to blend into the crowd. My greatest fashion joy was when I could transform, chameleon like, into the look of whatever tribe I was running around in. I think we try on our various personas when we're twenty, slipping them on like a dress, and trying them on for size. Perhaps, this is how we "find" ourselves.

By age 30, I knew who/what I was. And I grew comfortable in my own skin. The persona worn became my own, the chameleon suit retired. No longer set on blending or fitting in, I relished the fact I got to come and go as I pleased, and no clique or group could contain me. My friend collection grew varied, and became more interesting. Life offered options. I dressed for it.




Life offered options.I dressed for it. 

Now in my forties, I sling my style in bold broad strokes, and relish the fancies of others. I eschew the conventional, embrace the original. My quirks, once shamefully hidden, are now proudly paraded, shown off like prized peacocks.

Character, like intelligence has become my ultimate aphrodisiac.  My eyes are drawn to those who exude confidence, who reek of character, and kindness, who wear their adventures around their neck like a favorite accessory.

Since I know myself, I  savor the luxury in getting to know others. No matter the variety of surface, we all share something in common, and can find at least one thing to talk about. I have found often the easiest conversation starters stem from noticing and liking something in someone's way of dress.  You, look nice by the way.

I think the best thing that I like about my life is that I LIKE my life. And I love you.                                           
Quirky is as Quirky Does- Personal style gets better with age.
Now Wearing: 


68 comments:

The Semi Sweet said...

You look smashing, lovely, gorgeous, all those types of adjectives:) I'm especially in love with your writing. I find it interesting how our style will evolve based on our social circles, age, new taste, what have you. You definitely dress as though you wear your heart on your sleeve...or on your eyeballs;) ...sorry that joke was lame..hehe..

Unknown said...

I really like this post, and how you described your style throughout your life so far. It's wonderful that you have found who you are and embrace it. You look perfect in this dress with those boots.

TM said...

really nice, bella!!! Love the first outfit!!!!!!

Style Chic 360 said...

I loved reading this post! It was written beautifully, just like you! :))

DeeDee @ Decoding Dress said...

Bella, you are amazing. Thank you for blogging and sharing yourself with us. My life is richer because you do.

Anonymous said...

"Character, like intelligence has become my ultimate aphrodisiac. My eyes are drawn to those who exude confidence, who reek of character, and kindness, who wear their adventures around their neck like a favorite accessory.."

I loved this post Bella because it's so true. I'm still searching for myself but it's been a really interesting journey.

I loved your correlation between finding yourself and trying on a different dress. That's EXACTLY how I feel now but you already knew that.

I love you. Like, I REALLY love you!

Anonymous said...

its*

I hate to MISUSE apostrophes.

mispapelicos said...

What a post, Bella, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I sling my style in bold broad strokes, and relish the fancies of others. I eschew the conventional, embrace the original. My quirks, once shamefully hidden, are now proudly paraded, shown off like prized peacocks.
I have nothing else to add.
I love you, too.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ashe said...

"When I was in my 20's I tried to blend into the crowd. My greatest fashion joy was when I could transform, chameleon like, into the look of whatever tribe I was running around in. I think we try on our various personas when we're twenty, slipping them on like a dress, and trying them on for size. Perhaps, this is how we "find" ourselves."

Yes! God, I know I did that through my teens and twenties. Now that I'm approaching 28, I do find myself stradled a bit between the 20s and 30s, finding more comfort in who I am and what my style is...

Unknown said...

This is such a lovely post!! I'm in my 20's, but I've never been too interested in blending in. However, I do see how I can go from one style to another without a thought or care. I look forward to getting older and easing more into my own self and own style as you have dear Bella, looking gorgeous in that dress!!

vidabird said...

This is a beautifully written piece, absolutely relatable and touching. I feel like I've watched you embrace yourself through these years of stages, and I must say, I've never noticed anything but beauty emanating from and swathed all around you. Cheers to you, sweet RQB. You're a diamond.

For Those About To Shop said...

Turning 40 is true freedom. I never knew self-acceptance was possible until now :) And I love that Vivienne Westwood quote. She's been amazing about ethical fashion as well.

FASHION TALES said...

I agree, noticing one's way of dress is the perect conversation starter....
Excellent post: I always love your honesty and spirit! Loving life, well that's how it should be with age, experience, wisdom, & beauty I've always looked forward to getting older - learning more each day and being able to sprinkle the right seasonings confidently into your personal style.
Heart beats for the last pic, just love that headpiece dear.
You, your style = rocks.
Love,
Madison :)

dolphyngyrl said...

I love this classic summer look... Makes me think of leisurely picnics in shade covered parks. LOVE the boots!

Sara Kristiina said...

Beautiful post! Made me smile.:)
And your look <3

SeƱora Allnut said...

Such a great post and love to read it!, love how you 'embrace the original', it cheer up my day!!,
And love your dress and all that red & blue color combo, you're awesome!
besos

GRIT AND GLAMOUR said...

This is gorgeous:

"Now in my forties, I sling my style in bold broad strokes, and relish the fancies of others. I eschew the conventional, embrace the original. My quirks, once shamefully hidden, are now proudly paraded, shown off like prized peacocks."

Like you.

xo

Alexis of NorthOnHarper said...

Thank you for inspiring me today. Genuinely.

annimal said...

I love the swagger you have spent years culivating, your style is an ever evolving wonder to behold! And yea, freestyle has been really delivering the goods as you exhibit here! That dress is adorbs!

Anonymous said...

You are such a star, Bella. What a gorgeous, inspiring, marvelous post.

Ruby said...

Truly wonderful in a grand quirky way! I salute you! Oh and I look at 70 year olds too *giggle*

Stephanie Loudmouth said...

Such a beautifully written post. I love seeing fashionable ladies of any age walking down the street! That little hat is one of my favorites of yours :)

Rebecca said...

This is a really inspirational post. Self-confidence is such a wonderful trait to have.

Marie said...

I totally agree, the older I get the more I could care less about fitting in with the Gap Nation. Love that dress!
Marie @ Lemondrop ViNtAge
June giveaway

two birds said...

all i can say is yes! totally agree with you. love your dress, your glasses, the whole shebang! so cute!

Comtesse de ferveur said...

Awwww! I totally believe in growing into one' style. And that is what makes it incredibly exciting - the fact that it evolves with us. Also, I cannot cope with the amazingness of the cherry headgear! Magnifique! xxx

Nikki Mortham said...

Beautiful post! You are such a rock star ;)
Nikki

My Heart Blogged said...

I also think the way we dress says a lot about us. The way you dress is so unique, and just by looking at you I know your a diamond in a sea of glass.

Helga said...

Looking totally gorgeous,and I love what you've written.I wouldn't swap the confidence my forties has brought me for anything!!And having like minded ladies like you,Desiree,Vix,Sarah etc around rockin' it just makes me HAPPY!
XXX

Loren said...

Love this post, your dress and your glasses are fantastic.
My guy friends are sometimes shocked when I end up making new friends when we go out to bars. The secret I should tell them. (Complement the girl's clothes when you are in the bathroom together!)

Metsy said...

This is a wonderfully succinct explanation of how individual fashion changes over time. I'm approaching 40 and I soooo agree! You are totally brill!

The Foolish Aesthete said...

You are so right! Some of the best-dressed people I know/knew were in their 80s ... and my husband is enjoying the fact that he is now old enough to be acceptably eccentric! Love your look (which Vivienne Westwood would have totally approved of).

Jenmarie said...

What a beautiful post! I love who you are, Bella! I actually thought of you today while in Charlotte Russe. I saw a pair of red heart-shaped sunnies and smiled. I meant to take a photo but completely forgot!

Anonymous said...

The dress is just gorgeous on you. What you say about wearing your adventures around your neck like accessories is beautifully said. It is true we do go through phases...and that continues in one's fifties.

theequinebovine said...

Perfect..again.

BREAK FAST HABITS said...

The blogosphere break is doing you good, thanks for your insightful and beautifully written post. And now I'm laughing, because you really do dress in variations of red, white and blue! Very cool.

Unknown said...

Poetry for the eyes and ears. You have a way, Bella. Thank you! Sarah xxx

The Style Crone said...

Of course I love your headwear, veil included! Your creativity in so many areas is a joy to behold.

Suzanne said...

you are a treasure =-) I also am drawn to those types of people, for better or for worse. They are hard to come by in the suburbs...

Any Second Now said...

This post is like poetry and describes my own self discovery to a "T". I think we are fashion soulmates. I am the boldest and happiest I've ever been as I enter my 40's.

I got chills reading this. Thank you for letting me know it gets even better!

xoxo
Cyrillynn

Unknown said...

you look so YOU and i love it!
You always inspire me to be ME and I thank you and love you for that.
I treasure your thoughts and secretly wonder what u will think of my next outfit/post.
You are what so many younguns seek for themselves, a confident, warm full of life and generous woman.
U ROCK!
Reeves

Rosalind said...

Ah Bella - this is SO eloquently, beautifully written by beautiful you. I so love your infectious confidence and bright, bright spirit. My mum read this too - and said it really resonated with her.

Anonymous said...

Hi. I recently moved to Sacramento, and have been finding myself visiting your blog more and more. Yesterday I actually spotted you near Naked Lounge. You looked marvelous as ever.

paulawannacracker said...

Cousin, I absolutely love your blog and your style... and of course your elogquent writing. My dad was your mom's dad's brother. Whewww... now that's a mouth full.

absolutely love yoru blog.

Herdiana Surachman said...

love that cherry cherry boomboom in your mini hat hehehe'

HS

Dusk said...

"Character, like intelligence has become my ultimate aphrodisiac. "

Now that's a quote I'm going to use!

Bella you are an amazing being. I have had this post open for some time now, the comment box open... I don't know what to say. You glow. And you share your glow. Glow-bal warming!!
You are beautiful, every which way and counting.

The term 'role model' is so overused and awarded to the wrong people (actors, models, reality TV fantasy dwellers, etc)... YOU are a role model. YOU and the way you choose to be is what people should aspire to. Your pursuit of excellence.

Yes... I always notice and compliment too. I know no other way.

...one thing... I have never belonged to any tribe... not in my teens nor twenties nor thirties and most certainly not my forties... and I have cultivated that my entire life. Tribes are too limiting. I have never wanted to fit in anywhere, even if I do fit with... this trait makes me a polarising personality...
I feel it here too, within the blogging tribe. (and oh it is a tribe with tribes within the tribe...) But thats okay because where I fit with... is where I find beings like you.

Angeline said...

Love it...I always leave your presence and your blog feeling refreshed and inspired. I've had a pretty good grasp on who I am for a while now (though I definitely remember those days trying to fit in), and I agree--it makes life enjoyable and is so freeing! Can't wait to see what adventures are down the road for you.

Skyelarkbirdy said...

You have one of the most unique and individual personalities I've ever some across, Bella. And it completely is conveyed in your style. I absoltuley love it and have mad respect for you for it.

Fabienne Jach said...

And I love you!! I don't have to know you personally to know that I respect who you are and what you stand for. Your personality shines through everything and I am inspired by you. I love that karmic train we're on:)
xoxo, f
The House in the Clouds

Anika http://www.byanika.com said...

Bella, I am bloody well crying now. Such an amazing post from YOU, my friend. You are so beautiful in every way, I don`t have the words to describe how you make me feel, but words like humble, bravery, LOVE, respect, fun, moving, deep, soul, one of a kind spring to mind. This is my fave post of yours ever. I hope you make LALM so more people get to read this important one. As I opened your post I was just thinking the same, I like my life. Now that is something. I am so grateful that I know you. You are stunning. Absolutely breathtaking. I fancy you.

Yours, Anika

UN-stitched said...

You are so amazing, so beautiful. Words can't describe it. I'll have to read and re-read this post over and over. Love love love to you!
Christine

citizen rosebud said...

Mad love at you Christine, and Anika and all the lovelies who've stopped by and shown their support. MUAHZ! xo. -Bella Q

Unknown said...

You are NOT in your 40s! Nope...I refuse to believe it!

You look awesome, and as always, you came with a stimulating topic. I too was once that chameleon that you described. I think it's super important that you know who you are first in order for you to be comfortable letting others in.

Thanks for being so fab!

http://thriftyandshameless.blogspot.com

The Holly Rivers Show said...

whaaaaaat, you are in your 40s????!!!! jesus I though you were about my age!!!..I want some of whatever you're drinking that's for sure! wowzer!.....

Natalia | Look-A-Porter said...

Such a great outfit and post! You look absolutely amazing. Loving the dress and the fascinator. Also really admire you for being so unique and not following the blend in the crowd rules. :)

x

M.J said...

This was awesome! I can totally relate! When I was in my twenties I tried to go with crowd too and now that I'm a few months shy of 30, I'm enjoying the fact I can settle into my own skin!

Kate said...

This is an honest and fantastic post. I am still in my mid 20s, so I am definitely still trying to find my style. I can't wait until I can get to the point where I know exactly what my style is and who I am.

Thank you, Bella, for being so fantastic.

Fajr Muhammad said...

Totally looking forward to my 30s and growing more comfortable in my skin as the years pass.

Bella, your style is definitively you, it screams comfort and self-assurance.

JTWisdom said...

Bella,

You rock!
LOVE THIS.
"No longer set on blending or fitting in, I relished the fact I got to come and go as I pleased, and no clique or group could contain me."

You are one of a kind jewel.

Congrats on Links ala mode, you deserve it.

Anne M Bray said...

Well put. Getting comfortable in one's skin and one's unique style is the best.

Lissy said...

I totally relate to what you are saying. I'm also a 40+ and for me with age, comes total comfort in who I am (and how I dress). Great post!!
Lissy

Stacy Estep said...

Just discovered your blog via Grit & Glamour and am having fun exploring it. I love your style!

Emily, Ruby Slipper Journeys said...

Loving your life and yourself are the two main keys to looking great. Apparently the other main keys are fascinators, heart shaped glasses and awesome dresses. Seriously, you look fantastic here!

Fashionistable said...

Yes it is great to feel comfortable with yourself. It is so liberating. Also means you can be more outward looking, more open to life which is always a bonus. Xxxx

Elle @ (Eat.Style.Play) said...

When i first started following style blogs I had this issue. I wanted to blend in, i wanted to showcase my fashion style and I would take a picture and it just wasn't natural to me. Eventually I said, forget this! I'm going to go with own style and it took me awhile to post a picture and when i did it was my own style!!

Veshoevius said...

Life really does begin at forty then! Great post and what wonderful writing!

Fashnlvr said...

BellaQ I have been a-missing you!! And it is my own fault, certainly not yours! I love this tartan dress with those boots - total awesomeness incarnate. Your fascinator is fascinating - just like you. I too find that I like my life. your voice resonates with me. Congrats on making LALM!
I will try to visit you more frequently - I promise!

citizen rosebud said...

Thank you!