I'd like to open up the Citizen Rosebud to a variety of voices and perspectives. Ever since I "met" Arash Mazinani, body image consultant and a male fashion blogger, from Anika's feature of him back in 2010 (you can read it HERE) I knew I could count of him to provide provoking posts regarding fashion and style of both genders. Not only does he regularly write for his self named blog, he discusses his views on his own body with Ash in her Beautiful Bodies series. I value Arash's take on things, and one thing on my mind has been regarding body image. I was curious about the way men deal with their own body image. Arash, was up for the challenge, and the following is an article he wrote exclusively for the readers of the Citizen Rosebud. Enjoy!
So ya wanna be Ryan Gosling?
I was watching Crazy, Stupid, Love with my girlfriend, when Ryan Gosling entered a scene with his shirt off. She immediately made a comment about his superior
physique and giggled. A strange feeling came over me, I looked down at my
skinny lean frame and thought: “I better hit the kettle bells again on Monday."
The account above is nothing new, as far back as I can remember girls have commented on the naked torso’s of celebrities, whether it be the monthly features in Cosmopolitan, or the shots of David Beckham in the H&M window displays. You're probably thinking, it doesn’t really bother men though, does it? But that’s where you’re wrong. But, I don’t want to talk about the negatives too much, as I covered that already in a post entitled ‘The Adonis complex.’ Right now, I’d like to celebrate positive male body image instead.
The account above is nothing new, as far back as I can remember girls have commented on the naked torso’s of celebrities, whether it be the monthly features in Cosmopolitan, or the shots of David Beckham in the H&M window displays. You're probably thinking, it doesn’t really bother men though, does it? But that’s where you’re wrong. But, I don’t want to talk about the negatives too much, as I covered that already in a post entitled ‘The Adonis complex.’ Right now, I’d like to celebrate positive male body image instead.
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| Marooned for a Good Cause: Adam Levine Poses Nude for Testicular Cancer Awareness at Cosmo |
Negatives
aside, I think the first thing as guys we need to do is focus on what we have.
Everybody want’s to be desirable, but we shouldn’t crave the need to be
desired. Just like I tell my female clients to focus on their ‘killer features’
and accept a compliment when their friends tell them they look good. As guys we
should learn to appreciate what we have.
We
all have parts of our bodies we like and maybe dislike or even loathe. The
beauty of it all is we have a choice to change it. But there are a couple of
key points here that I want to stress. You
need to start to appreciate and love what you have already and celebrate the
good points. Then work hard to change the bits you don’t like, but don’t obsess
over it. Being healthy is the key here, as soon as your desire to change your
body consumes the majority of your life it’s breaching the line and turning
into an obsession.
Ultimately,
if we are going to change we have to because we want to, not because we feel the opposite sex will like us more
if we do or because we’re driven to do so by movie stars that get paid millions
of dollars to look that way. So
regardless of your shape or size, appreciate what you have and if you decide
you want to change, make sure you’re doing it for you.
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| Arash Mazinani |
Arash Mazinani is a fully trained image expert who works with individuals who want to transform their personal style. He
regularly works with clients all across the UK and internationally. An avid blogger, you can read his thoughtful commentary covering men's and women's style and fashion issues at: www.arashmazinani.com
10 comments:
I have always found of putting mussle men, and I so agree with Arash: You need to start to appreciate and love what you have already and celebrate the good points.
Great post, Bella, and so good to know more about Arash.
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"Ultimately, if we are going to change we have to because we want to, not because we feel the opposite sex will like us more if we do or because we’re driven to do so by movie stars that get paid millions of dollars to look that way. So regardless of your shape or size, appreciate what you have and if you decide you want to change, make sure you’re doing it for you."
Yes, yes, absolutely this. It's always wonderful to hear your insights, Arash!
Its good to hear a male perspective. I used to think that women were mostly alone in getting all the negative body image reinforcements---until I really noticed how many men's hair loss ads were out there! And of course, all of the viagra commercials...
We always think that men haven't our same issues and it's a pleasure to read Arash's point of view on body image and our perception.
Society led us to constantly cope with our imperfections and often is a painful and pointless struggle.
We really should apprecciate ourselves more and remember more often that beauty come from inside.
It's a good start to celebrate our individual appearance!
Thank you for this post!
Love xxxxxxx
This was wonderful & refreshing. I do think men have the same issues & there isn't always a platform for them to speak out on it as they get stick for it, as people think it makes them look weak, but I think otherwise. We all have issues & the curtain needs raising on it all, so we can learn to love & appreciate the shells we are in!! xx
A man who shares thoughts like this is a gem if you ask me! Thanks for opening my mind! I am that gal who comments in front of my hubby about hot guys on the tv and just last night I took notice for the first time on my hubbies face, it look sad. Thank for opening my mind and letting me know men too have body issues.
Xxoo
This is a topic that is very important!
As a member of a 20 year relationship with a man who was 28 when we met and just turned 48, I understand Oh so well how body image can impact a man's life, equal to our own. As an "over 40er" myself when shudders at the though of my lover seeing me in true buck naked standing up glory, saggy boobs and all, He too has talked to me about how he feels as well. He doesn't feel as sexy and toned as he was and it bothers him, gray hair and all. He doesn't realize (and no amount of praise will work) that I still desire him as much as when he was 28. He must love the way he looks first.
I try to avoid the "ooh look at him" torture the same way he does that for me. That said, He could never tell me to feel a certain way about myself either.
Women aren't the only ones who get "The Uglies"...
thanks, Bella for introducing this guy and bringing up the topic.
Reeves
I think just being human, one has thought about their body image in some way. It's great to hear what other men think about body issues. Really enjoyable guest post.
I always enjoy Arash's eloquent writing style. This piece will make me think twice before drooling over some beefcake in front of my husband...
I love Arash! As usual another fabulous article. I rarely talk about men's physiques in front of my husband, but it does come up with movies, mostly because its so overt. Ill laugh about it, like what did they have to do and for how long to do that pull the shirt off scene. Mostly I don't think women care about men's physiques as much as men care about women's. sure we like to look, but I think personality is so much more important.
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